I’m sure everyone who’s reading this and is/has been at uni will agree, lectures are sometimes very boring. When the lecturer starts droning about something you don’t understand or you know too well, your mind wanders. I draw shit. This morning I came up with a classic. It goes a bit like this (I’ll probably get around to doing the diagrams a bit later:
Problem:
You’re in outer space and you want to know the mass of a body but you don’t want to do any real maths.
Solution:
SPACE-SCALES™!
SPACE-SCALES™ generates its own gravity in order to weigh things without all that hefty rocket science style calculating [this was a lecture on this kind of thing].
ONLY £8*10^10 !
[Drawing of, basically, the moon with a square on the side. There is a scale next to it implying that the scales are 400 miles in diameter. Labels: Authentic craters, Pneumatic plunger with scale on it for weight reading, Set of conventional scales for smaller stuff.]
Simply put your item on the plunger or scales and read the meter.
ALSO AVAILABLE:
SPACE-SCALES™ mini™©
£∞!
[Another drawing, this time of a smooth ball with a block on the side and a diameter of 100 miles. Label: Diamond coated to prevent damage.]
No sharp edges for child use!
WARNING: Whereas SPACE-SCALES™ can measure masses up to the size of the Earth, SPACE-SCALES™ mini™© can only measure masses up to Moon size.
AND
SPACE-SCALES™ ρockeτ (doesn’t work in space) – £300!
[Another drawing of a smaller ball with a block and two little sticks on one side. Diameter 3mm. Label: Handy table top stand.]
Less likely to be vandalised by Russians!
WARNING: Can only measure masses up to “Small crumb of Battenburg cake”™ size.
Terms and conditions:
3 day warranty only valid before product is removed from box. Any death due to misuse of product (therefore any death at all) is not an issue of RME. £∞ paid on demand from RME for anything. Any illegal substances found in packaging not accountable to RME. Warranty void if time passes after purchase.
This flyer is funded and exploited endorsed by Rupert Murdoch Enterprises.
RME have my full support, and I assume they’re publically traded? And I can capitalise on stocks?
Where are the drawings? If they can’t be scanned in, they should at least have been replicated by skilled Chinese slave children, purpose-born for digitising rough artwork.
Comment by Chronicler — January 11, 2008 @ 6:07 pm
I once drew a chess board in a lecture.
Playing “squares” also seems to pass the time pretty well.
Comment by dave — January 17, 2008 @ 10:15 am
I play squares regularly. I brought a pillow in once, very comfy. Had a nap in fact.
Comment by thebearthatcares — January 19, 2008 @ 1:38 am